Those Brown Eyes

Those Brown Eyes

Those brown eyes, I couldn't stop looking at those brown eyes.  I was sitting on the campus quad eating lunch with Linda who I had been dating.  She had just introduced me to her friend, the girl with the big, beautiful, brown eyes.  "This is my friend, Trudy". Dorthy Parker says, "men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses."  But she never saw the way these glasses framed these dark brown eyes.  I knew that day I wanted to ask her out, but how do I do that without being rude to Linda.  Linda and I were friend, but my feelings stopped there. so I took my time, meeting her at lunch with Linda, "running into her on campus and finding time to talk", and talking out the psych class we had in common (different sections).  It took me two months to get the courage to ask her out. We end up going to see Paint Your Wagon.  I was smitten.  She was so easy to be with, I could talk to her without feeling awkward (my normal state around girls). She was okay with just being together without talking.  She was warm and open.  What I liked best was the way her face lit up when she saw me.  I was smitten.

Our Wedding Pictures

In The Begining

Martin and I met through a mutual friend, Linda Hite, in the fall of 1969.   We were both attending Long Beach City College.   I  remember sitting on the grass in the Quad when we were introduced, but all the details are kind of fuzzy.   His hair was longer then and I remember red highlights in his blondish hair.  His eyes were blue like the ocean.  His smile made me smile.  He was a  person  that I would like to get to know better.  We discovered that we had the same instructor for a psychology class which we were taking that term, but at different times of the day. So we would get together and ‘study’ for that class during free times of the day on campus.  I always looked forward to seeing him.  There was something about him that I did not have with anyone else.  He always made me feel  happy,  excited, maybe even a little bit giddy.  I was hoping he would ask me out some time. He finally asked me out to a basketball game in January.  I don't recall why, but we ended up going to see the Premier showing of ‘Paint Your Wagon’ in Westwood instead of the game.  Our first date was also two days after my 20th birthday, so I remember January 22, 1970 very well! That night he did not hold my hand, but he did kiss me goodnight. Needless to say, I was in  seventh  heaven!  

Posted by Trudy Jones

Lessons learned

If I have learned anything in forty years, it is that Trudy has be my greatest mentor on living honestly and simply.  I tend to live in the gray areas of life, looking for all the exceptions to the rules. I complicate things so as to make decision harder.  Trudy has always been straight forward and gets to the heart of the matter. She is the one who taught me that love is not about me.  It is about the one you love.  It mean paying more attention to them than yourself.  If you are truly taking care of your partner it frees them to take care of you. 
Of course this must be mutual or it could lead to an abusive situation.  In a truly loving relationship this kind of caring frees you to be you and to be open with one another.  It allows you to be vulnerable, humble, and forgiving.  I know I can share my fears and my joys with her because she cares about me.  I can focus on her because I know I am cared for.  We have certainly had our ups and downs, times of real, difficult, and painful issues. But Trudy's courageous love has helped me through those times. 

Birthday of our marriage

Today is my birthday.  Forty years ago today, Trudy and I announced our engagement at a surprise birthday party we had planned.  We used it as a cover to keep our engagement secret until the last possible moment, so we would not have endure months of planning, advice and stuff.  We almost brought it off as a complete surprise, except for Trudy's habit of writing everything down.  Her mom found the note with information on about the engagement.  Before Trudy could warn me, I came over and was greeted by her mom with "How could you do this without telling me.....!!  I am sure she was horrified that she did not have a chance to talk Trudy out of marrying this hairy, non-Hungarian hippie. So began our forty days of trial in the wilderness (for details, please consult the movie ":My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and substitute Hungarian every time they say Greek.











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Forty by Forty

July 14th is my 64th birthday.  This year it takes on a special significance that has nothing to do with my birth. It is exactly 40 days before Trudy and I celebrate 40 years of marriage. Over the next forty days, I plan to celebrate this milestone with stories, pictures and lesson we learned.  It is significant, as my sister Sheila will relate, because just two months before our wedding I was still telling everyone I would never marry again.
It will be fun looking back over the last forty years to see how we got here.