Until my daughter suffered her brain injury, I had trouble understanding theses passages. As a result of injury to her frontal lobes, my daughter had and has difficulty with impulsiveness. Impulses are thoughts, desires and ideas that spring unbidden. If I see a friend standing across the street and without thinking I just cross the street in the middle of the block without looking either way, that is impulsive.
Acting without judgement. One of the most difficult parts of growing up is learning to control that impulsiveness. Often people never fully out grow it. ( Which why grocery stores put candy at the check out counters.)
What I understand from these passages is that God expects us to use judgement in our relationships with others. Marriage is not to be an impulsive act, enter into lightly. When we do marry, we are expected to to be serious about it. We are human and will have problems, but we are to work at reconciliation. I note that Jesus in verse 23 admonished us to not wait for our partner to admit wrong doing, or apologized first, but to leave the altar and go ourselves and initiate reconciliation .
This same seriousness of how we act is discussed with the giving of oaths. Don't embellish your promise. Say what you mean simply, Yes or No. I will or I won't. If you say yes mean it. That means that it must not be impulsive. It must be thoughtful, something you know is right and that you mean to do. In our society we place so much emphasis on speed that we have forgotten how to be thoughtful. If someone does not reply immediately with a snappy answer, we think less of them than the person with quick and witty response.
One of the results of this is a society in which quitting is a perfectly acceptable way to deal with problems. Difficulty with a marriage, walk away. Difficulty with the church, walk away. Difficulty with a committee, quit.
These passages for me talk about grace in action. These thing are not possible with grace or Grace.
Father,
It is so easy to walk away, to wait for my brother to act first, to do the easy. I pray for patiences to listen, to think, to act with care and grace.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
reconcilliation
5:21-26
So if you are coming to the altar with your gift and there you remember that your brother has a grievance against you, leave your gift right there in front of the altar and go first and be reconciled to your brother.
It is so amazing how obvious and simple he makes this sound. Yet we find this so complex and difficult. We can find dozens of reasons and excuses for not doing this. We have become experts at avoiding reconciliation. Rather than reconcile we divorce, divide, leave, shun, reorganize, blame, lie, and ignore. We would rather lose what we have than admit that we are wrong, weak, selfish or mean. We equate humbleness with weakness, saying I sorry with losing, and not getting our way with failure.
The first time I really experienced how important this is, I was only 8. I had been playing with my dads tools (a no no) and broke my dad's steel tape measure. I tried to hide it, but he found it right away. When asked about it, I knew I had to admit my guilt so I said, " I broke it". My dad got very angry, spanked me and sent me to my room. Later he came to my room and said, "I sorry I lost my temper. It wasn't fair when you admitted your mistake. I overreacted." I was stunned. I had never had an adult apologise to me before. That he could humble himself to do that, when I knew I had wronged him, still amazes me.
How many of the problems in our church, our community, our nation and world could be avoid by do this simple and obvious act. I know it takes two to tango, that we can't do it by ourselves, but even if we were successful only have the time it would make a huge difference.
Father, help me to see that being the first to take the step toward reconciliation is not weakness, but strength. Help me to listen with my heart and my mind, so that I may consider others and avoid the need to be reconciled. Thank you for taking the first steps to be reconciled with me.
Amen
So if you are coming to the altar with your gift and there you remember that your brother has a grievance against you, leave your gift right there in front of the altar and go first and be reconciled to your brother.
It is so amazing how obvious and simple he makes this sound. Yet we find this so complex and difficult. We can find dozens of reasons and excuses for not doing this. We have become experts at avoiding reconciliation. Rather than reconcile we divorce, divide, leave, shun, reorganize, blame, lie, and ignore. We would rather lose what we have than admit that we are wrong, weak, selfish or mean. We equate humbleness with weakness, saying I sorry with losing, and not getting our way with failure.
The first time I really experienced how important this is, I was only 8. I had been playing with my dads tools (a no no) and broke my dad's steel tape measure. I tried to hide it, but he found it right away. When asked about it, I knew I had to admit my guilt so I said, " I broke it". My dad got very angry, spanked me and sent me to my room. Later he came to my room and said, "I sorry I lost my temper. It wasn't fair when you admitted your mistake. I overreacted." I was stunned. I had never had an adult apologise to me before. That he could humble himself to do that, when I knew I had wronged him, still amazes me.
How many of the problems in our church, our community, our nation and world could be avoid by do this simple and obvious act. I know it takes two to tango, that we can't do it by ourselves, but even if we were successful only have the time it would make a huge difference.
Father, help me to see that being the first to take the step toward reconciliation is not weakness, but strength. Help me to listen with my heart and my mind, so that I may consider others and avoid the need to be reconciled. Thank you for taking the first steps to be reconciled with me.
Amen
Friday, February 19, 2010
Impulse
Matthew 5.27-37
As we prepared to bring our daughter Michelle home from six months of hospitalization and rehabilitation after her traumatic brain injury, we began to call other parents of children with TBI. As I started to end a conversation with one mom about out patient rehabilitation facilities, she said, "I know the hell you have endured so far, but in some ways the worst in still ahead". We had been through six months of gut-wrenching anxiety, depression, uncertainty, and sorrow. We stood beside our 17 year old daughter while she lay in a four month coma and two months of emerging slowly to consciousness. I was stunned. What could be worse.
What could be worse? Even her death at time had seemed preferable to the uncertainty. She said that we would be severely test as our daughter moved back into society. Her daughter had recently gone with her brother on a high school church group swim party.
When they returned, brother said,"Do you want to tell Mom or shall I". The daughter hung her head and remained silent. The son said, "When we got to the swimming hole, we all started stripping down to our swim suits. Mary stripped down to her birthday suit and refused to put on her swim suit." The mom then said, "This impulsively is one of the hardest things to deal with. It is so unpredictable"
Her prediction was accurate. This has proved to be the most difficult part of our daughter recovery. Having her shave her head, throw a chair through her bedroom window. swear like a trooper, and punch, bite, and fight with her mother and I. I can not count the number of times I have had to explain to patient police officers why she was acting the way she was. I have had to make emergency stops on the freeway to prevent her from stepping out the door. One of our worst fears was that she became sexually reckless. We endured 14 years of anxiety as we worked with pastors, counselors, the justice system and family to help her regain her self control. We have reach a point where the anger has become manageable, she is faithful to her spouse, and she is reasonably safe. (She still swears inappropriately)
I ask myself if she can relearn self control, why do I have such difficulty control my own impulses. I am beginning to learn that it is not the impulses that get us into trouble, but the failure to recognise them and to give in to them. It is so much easier to just let them rule you, than to control them. We do this impart because we are not humble enough to recognise we need help to control them. As children we had parents (hopefully) who guided us in learning to control these impulses. Now what we need to recognise is that we need Gods help and he is always there to help and guide, but we must do our part.
We need also to recognise that we are human and may fail. God doesn't beat us up them but is ready with grace. We need to accept His grace and forgive ourselves. When we come to God as a child, it means we accept His authority to parent up, we accept his wisdom, rules and Grace. Neither beating ourselves up nor letting ourselves off the hook.
God, I want not to have to be accountable, I want to let my impulses rule me. I pray for self control and for wisdom to accept your authority in my life.
As we prepared to bring our daughter Michelle home from six months of hospitalization and rehabilitation after her traumatic brain injury, we began to call other parents of children with TBI. As I started to end a conversation with one mom about out patient rehabilitation facilities, she said, "I know the hell you have endured so far, but in some ways the worst in still ahead". We had been through six months of gut-wrenching anxiety, depression, uncertainty, and sorrow. We stood beside our 17 year old daughter while she lay in a four month coma and two months of emerging slowly to consciousness. I was stunned. What could be worse.
What could be worse? Even her death at time had seemed preferable to the uncertainty. She said that we would be severely test as our daughter moved back into society. Her daughter had recently gone with her brother on a high school church group swim party.
When they returned, brother said,"Do you want to tell Mom or shall I". The daughter hung her head and remained silent. The son said, "When we got to the swimming hole, we all started stripping down to our swim suits. Mary stripped down to her birthday suit and refused to put on her swim suit." The mom then said, "This impulsively is one of the hardest things to deal with. It is so unpredictable"
Her prediction was accurate. This has proved to be the most difficult part of our daughter recovery. Having her shave her head, throw a chair through her bedroom window. swear like a trooper, and punch, bite, and fight with her mother and I. I can not count the number of times I have had to explain to patient police officers why she was acting the way she was. I have had to make emergency stops on the freeway to prevent her from stepping out the door. One of our worst fears was that she became sexually reckless. We endured 14 years of anxiety as we worked with pastors, counselors, the justice system and family to help her regain her self control. We have reach a point where the anger has become manageable, she is faithful to her spouse, and she is reasonably safe. (She still swears inappropriately)
I ask myself if she can relearn self control, why do I have such difficulty control my own impulses. I am beginning to learn that it is not the impulses that get us into trouble, but the failure to recognise them and to give in to them. It is so much easier to just let them rule you, than to control them. We do this impart because we are not humble enough to recognise we need help to control them. As children we had parents (hopefully) who guided us in learning to control these impulses. Now what we need to recognise is that we need Gods help and he is always there to help and guide, but we must do our part.
We need also to recognise that we are human and may fail. God doesn't beat us up them but is ready with grace. We need to accept His grace and forgive ourselves. When we come to God as a child, it means we accept His authority to parent up, we accept his wisdom, rules and Grace. Neither beating ourselves up nor letting ourselves off the hook.
God, I want not to have to be accountable, I want to let my impulses rule me. I pray for self control and for wisdom to accept your authority in my life.
Sometimes....?
Matthew 5:21 (to be continued)
My friend and pastor, Peter, gave me some good advice once; set goals for yourself, but do not hold yourself to impossible standards. My goal is to write daily about a portion of the
Sermon on the Mount, but yesterday........well!?!
My good friend Bud had just brought his wife home from the hospital so Trudy and decide to take dinner to them so Bud could rest a little. We went to the store to pick a few ingredients. When we thought we were done we strolled up to the check out stands and there were two with the cashiers standing out front looking for some one to help, what good luck I thought.
then we remembered something we had forgotten, back to the dairy section for cottage cheese.
When we came back every check out stand had a line, except the self checkout stand so we went there. After scanning all the items, I swiped my debit card and it refuse to authorise it. I called the credit union and realized we were had $2.00 less that the what was in the cart. I put back a couple of things we didn't need and then took out my wallet to get my card. No card! I checked my pockets, no card. I asked Trudy if she had my card, "No", she said. I scanned the area quickly to see if I had dropped it, it was there. I took everything out of my pockets. No card. I completely emptied my wallet, Nada! We looked in the bags, on top of the checkout machine. I turned my pockets inside out again. I emptied my wallet for a third time.
Even thought Trudy insisted that she did not have it I had her empty we purse. No card. The cashier came over to see was wrong and she looked. I emptied my pockets and wallet again, same result. The cashier took the machine apart piece by piece. We found $5.00 dollars in coins people had lost in cracks and crevices in the checkout machine, but no card. a small crowd had gather behinds us, so Trudy used her card and we moved away from the machine and I went through the whole routine again.
People were starting to asking us to move with irritated politeness so they could get around us. I started to worry that the card had been pick up my some opportunistic thief. We went out to the car and got in. I noticed the time was 4:50 PM. We were going to be late getting dinner to Bud and Mary, but I had ten minutes to report my lost card to the Credit Union. I called them and cancelled the card. I now have to wait 7 to 10 days for a new one. We called
bud and said we would be 30 minutes late. We drove home puzzled by what had happened to the card and frustrated that we would be late taking dinner to Bud and Mary. I realized then that I would miss dinner as I had a meeting in Lebanon at 7:00 pm. When we finally arrived home, Trudy reached into her pocket for keys and came out with......THE CARD!! ARRRGHH
Now how come neither of us remember me giving it to her after I tried to use it.
We rushed to get dinner prepared for Bud and Mary, drove to Crowfoot to deliver it and cut short our visit so Trudy could drop me at my meeting. I was 20 minutes early, but we did not have time to return to Albany get my and drive back. So Trudy left me and promised to send my Son Matt back to get me at 8:00 pm. I watched her leave and then walk up to the meeting place. No one was there. I called my partner John to ask why. John said, "The meeting was
Tuesday, not Thursday". Now I standing in Lebanon with out a jacket, a car, or a way home and I have to pee. No keys no place to go. AAARRRGGGHHH!! Some times it is just not my day!
Father, sometimes I think I am so good, so capable, that I set impossible standards. I get impatient, with others and my self. and when things don't work out I get angry. I pray for patience, I pray to learn humility. I pray for peace of mind and heart.
-
My friend and pastor, Peter, gave me some good advice once; set goals for yourself, but do not hold yourself to impossible standards. My goal is to write daily about a portion of the
Sermon on the Mount, but yesterday........well!?!
My good friend Bud had just brought his wife home from the hospital so Trudy and decide to take dinner to them so Bud could rest a little. We went to the store to pick a few ingredients. When we thought we were done we strolled up to the check out stands and there were two with the cashiers standing out front looking for some one to help, what good luck I thought.
then we remembered something we had forgotten, back to the dairy section for cottage cheese.
When we came back every check out stand had a line, except the self checkout stand so we went there. After scanning all the items, I swiped my debit card and it refuse to authorise it. I called the credit union and realized we were had $2.00 less that the what was in the cart. I put back a couple of things we didn't need and then took out my wallet to get my card. No card! I checked my pockets, no card. I asked Trudy if she had my card, "No", she said. I scanned the area quickly to see if I had dropped it, it was there. I took everything out of my pockets. No card. I completely emptied my wallet, Nada! We looked in the bags, on top of the checkout machine. I turned my pockets inside out again. I emptied my wallet for a third time.
Even thought Trudy insisted that she did not have it I had her empty we purse. No card. The cashier came over to see was wrong and she looked. I emptied my pockets and wallet again, same result. The cashier took the machine apart piece by piece. We found $5.00 dollars in coins people had lost in cracks and crevices in the checkout machine, but no card. a small crowd had gather behinds us, so Trudy used her card and we moved away from the machine and I went through the whole routine again.
People were starting to asking us to move with irritated politeness so they could get around us. I started to worry that the card had been pick up my some opportunistic thief. We went out to the car and got in. I noticed the time was 4:50 PM. We were going to be late getting dinner to Bud and Mary, but I had ten minutes to report my lost card to the Credit Union. I called them and cancelled the card. I now have to wait 7 to 10 days for a new one. We called
bud and said we would be 30 minutes late. We drove home puzzled by what had happened to the card and frustrated that we would be late taking dinner to Bud and Mary. I realized then that I would miss dinner as I had a meeting in Lebanon at 7:00 pm. When we finally arrived home, Trudy reached into her pocket for keys and came out with......THE CARD!! ARRRGHH
Now how come neither of us remember me giving it to her after I tried to use it.
We rushed to get dinner prepared for Bud and Mary, drove to Crowfoot to deliver it and cut short our visit so Trudy could drop me at my meeting. I was 20 minutes early, but we did not have time to return to Albany get my and drive back. So Trudy left me and promised to send my Son Matt back to get me at 8:00 pm. I watched her leave and then walk up to the meeting place. No one was there. I called my partner John to ask why. John said, "The meeting was
Tuesday, not Thursday". Now I standing in Lebanon with out a jacket, a car, or a way home and I have to pee. No keys no place to go. AAARRRGGGHHH!! Some times it is just not my day!
Father, sometimes I think I am so good, so capable, that I set impossible standards. I get impatient, with others and my self. and when things don't work out I get angry. I pray for patience, I pray to learn humility. I pray for peace of mind and heart.
-
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Matthew 5: 13-20
"You're the salt of the earth!But if the salt becomes tasteless, how is it going to get salty again?... You're the light of the world! A city can't be hidden if it's on top of a hill...."
This passage could be call the "Walk the Walk" commandment. Christ is calling us to live a covenant life. That is he is saying that all that God, through the Prophets and the Word, has taught us about how to live is still there, unchanged, in force but now through Christ we can truly make it a reality. Anyone can quote the rules and tell you what is just and right, but living not just the letter of the law but the spirit of God's Promise requires more.
Many who understand the letter of the law do well in a black and white world, but falter when trying operate in the grayness of reality. Jesus came to help us sharpen the contrast so that we can better live in relationship with God and our Neighbors. Salt not only preserves food, but sharpens the flavor so that we can better experience taste. Watered down salt neither preserves or sharpens the flavor of food.
In this "upside down world" the our lives should shine like a light so that others can see the benefits of Living in God's Grace. If receiving God's forgiveness and his direction for a righteous life does not change us in a way that others can see the rightness of it are we truly living in God's Kingdom. We have to " Walk that Walk" .
God, It is so much easier to just keep doing the same old things we have always done and to just Keep asking for forgiveness than it is to truly change. I truly need your help to walk in a new way, to love in a new way, and to forgive wholly and truly. Help me to change. Amen
This passage could be call the "Walk the Walk" commandment. Christ is calling us to live a covenant life. That is he is saying that all that God, through the Prophets and the Word, has taught us about how to live is still there, unchanged, in force but now through Christ we can truly make it a reality. Anyone can quote the rules and tell you what is just and right, but living not just the letter of the law but the spirit of God's Promise requires more.
Many who understand the letter of the law do well in a black and white world, but falter when trying operate in the grayness of reality. Jesus came to help us sharpen the contrast so that we can better live in relationship with God and our Neighbors. Salt not only preserves food, but sharpens the flavor so that we can better experience taste. Watered down salt neither preserves or sharpens the flavor of food.
In this "upside down world" the our lives should shine like a light so that others can see the benefits of Living in God's Grace. If receiving God's forgiveness and his direction for a righteous life does not change us in a way that others can see the rightness of it are we truly living in God's Kingdom. We have to " Walk that Walk" .
God, It is so much easier to just keep doing the same old things we have always done and to just Keep asking for forgiveness than it is to truly change. I truly need your help to walk in a new way, to love in a new way, and to forgive wholly and truly. Help me to change. Amen
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The Blessings
Matthew 5: 1-12
Good News! Blessings! A world upside down, backwards.We have to think a whole new way. This is the stuff that scares me, because I am so resistant to change. I want to be comfortable, the old routines are known, and inconspicuous. It is a struggle even though this is Gospel, Good News.
As I read Wrights explaination I began to see these differently. The description of them as announcements makes it a little easier to see what is being said. In the world I have carried a saddness for 40 + years and have never really been comforted, but Christ has come to announce that in God's Kingdom I will be. He suggests that the Lords prayer tell us to pray that God's Kingdom with come and God's Will be done "on earth as in Heavern. I have found it very hard to pray with this kind of focus and on a regular basis. As I read and study over the next 40 days, I want to pray with this kind of focus and regularity. Peter suggested that I write a prayer for each day and I am going to do this at the end of each blog posting.
Father, I want to live by my rules, I want the controls to work the same as always. I am afraid of new ways of doing things. As I listen for your word, open my heart and eyes to the new ways of your Kingdom.
Good News! Blessings! A world upside down, backwards.We have to think a whole new way. This is the stuff that scares me, because I am so resistant to change. I want to be comfortable, the old routines are known, and inconspicuous. It is a struggle even though this is Gospel, Good News.
As I read Wrights explaination I began to see these differently. The description of them as announcements makes it a little easier to see what is being said. In the world I have carried a saddness for 40 + years and have never really been comforted, but Christ has come to announce that in God's Kingdom I will be. He suggests that the Lords prayer tell us to pray that God's Kingdom with come and God's Will be done "on earth as in Heavern. I have found it very hard to pray with this kind of focus and on a regular basis. As I read and study over the next 40 days, I want to pray with this kind of focus and regularity. Peter suggested that I write a prayer for each day and I am going to do this at the end of each blog posting.
Father, I want to live by my rules, I want the controls to work the same as always. I am afraid of new ways of doing things. As I listen for your word, open my heart and eyes to the new ways of your Kingdom.
Lent and the Sermon on the Mount
For years I have consider varies ways of observing the season of Lent, by giving up something, doing something or reading something. I have never been successful. This year I am making the most serious attempt ever by focusing on listening to God. I have three elements that I am trying to incorporate in this.
Avoiding distractions that fill time but not by soul, my heart or my mind. i.e. I am giving up my games I play daily on Facebook because they occupy me but do not fill me.
I am going to spend 40 days reading, studying and praying the Sermon on the Mount.
I am keeping myself accountable by asking Scott to parallel me on a daily basis and by asking Peter in pray for me this lent.
I have chosen the Sermon on the Mount because it is simplest sermon ever and the most profound. Jesus speaks simply and directly on how we should live our lives, relate to our God and our neighbors. At times it is painfully blunt. I have so much difficulty with this laconic call to live my life in such straight forward way. I love the loopholes in life, but Jesus leaves us none.
I recently read a book about how the Amish community reacted to and dealt with the killing of five young school girls . They began with forgiveness and then through prayer worked to let God help and lead then through this tragedy. I have done the opposite. I have spent 42 years trying to reach forgiveness in the death of my first wife Kathy. As I have reflect on this difference in approach, I became aware that the Amish consider the Sermon on the Mount important enought to spend time every year studying, listening, and praying about it.
God, you ask so little of me, yet I find it difficult to enough remember for a day, a hour, even a minute. Forgive me!
Avoiding distractions that fill time but not by soul, my heart or my mind. i.e. I am giving up my games I play daily on Facebook because they occupy me but do not fill me.
I am going to spend 40 days reading, studying and praying the Sermon on the Mount.
I am keeping myself accountable by asking Scott to parallel me on a daily basis and by asking Peter in pray for me this lent.
I have chosen the Sermon on the Mount because it is simplest sermon ever and the most profound. Jesus speaks simply and directly on how we should live our lives, relate to our God and our neighbors. At times it is painfully blunt. I have so much difficulty with this laconic call to live my life in such straight forward way. I love the loopholes in life, but Jesus leaves us none.
I recently read a book about how the Amish community reacted to and dealt with the killing of five young school girls . They began with forgiveness and then through prayer worked to let God help and lead then through this tragedy. I have done the opposite. I have spent 42 years trying to reach forgiveness in the death of my first wife Kathy. As I have reflect on this difference in approach, I became aware that the Amish consider the Sermon on the Mount important enought to spend time every year studying, listening, and praying about it.
God, you ask so little of me, yet I find it difficult to enough remember for a day, a hour, even a minute. Forgive me!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
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About Me
- Martin Jones
- Albany, Oregon
- Grandpa, dad, husband, teacher (retired) traveler, reader, listner, Jesus follower, music lover, artist, photographer, friend, Student, progressive ......
