Matthew 6:16-24

Fasting is a practice I don't understand, but I think this passage has a larger topic that I do struggle with daily. It is the problem of priorities and relationships. I certainly want to have a relationship with God and I also, as a consequence of God's Love and Grace, want to have a relationship with those around me (family and neighbors). I want to share what I gain as a result of my relationship with God with those around me. How do I do this?

When I was discharged out of the Navy, I had a month before I started back to college. I took a trip across the United States with 3 friends. They were all two years older and had all completed college. I often felt left out of the conversations because my experience were down a different track. I tried to find ways to relate with what was happening in the conversation. At one point an one of my friends asked me why every thing I said started with "I". This rebuke silenced me for days. I listened as they talked. As I listened I realized my priority was to get them to notice me, rather than to relate to them.

I still struggle to give God his due in my daily life. I am afraid that I will not be able to say things right or will offend others so I remain quiet. OR I really want attention for myself so that I offer myself rather than God. We all want to be loved for who were are, but some of us don't believe that is enough. We try to puff our selves up with wealth, success, or good works to seem better than we are. Yesterday, as I was driving to Eugene I was listen to an audio recording of the Bible and this quote stood out.

10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?"

12 On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' [a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

If I truly remember why God love and grace are important it is because I am sinner who needs God's grace. The struggle then is my fear of letting other know that I am a sinner who needs grace. We live in a time when such a premium is put on success and goodness that we fail to see that we are all in need of grace. We place a huge stigma on those who fail or fall. We isolate ourselves so that we need not come in contact with the "sinners" I fall for this hypocrisy all the time. My sin is not as bad as his sin. I wear my piety as a cloak to hide the real me.

Oh Lord,
I wander lost because I hold man's esteem for me higher that yours. I fail to honor what you have done for me. I struggle to put you at the center of my life. Forgive me. Amen